Culture, Film

Review: The Watch (2012)

The Watch movie posterRepeated willy gags with profanity every thirty seconds does not a goof-ball sci-fi comedy make.

Remember when Ben Stiller was funny and Vince Vaughan was a proper actor? Before hubris and extreme laziness set in?

If I admit that Stiller (Something About Mary, Mystery Men) was ideal as the obsessive compulsive retail manager (recalling Richard Briers in Ever Decreasing Circles?) and if the movie had stuck to the comic set-up of Stiller, Vaughan, Jonah Hill and Britain’s own Richard Ayoade (IT Crowd) as the inept neighbourhood watch in small-town America, this could have been a well-crafted screw-ball farce.

But no. In genre mash-up land, we get an extended Seth Rogen-penned sketch overlaid with sci-fi alien invasion; crashingly dull, pretentious, predictable, sweary, coarse and gratuitously profane.

Intended as a satire of sci-fi such as Predator, Critters, Independence Day, Slither and any number of others, this could still have worked. The CGI aliens are very well done, the visual effects and action well executed.

But there’s far too much sustained gore and violence to be funny. And far too many knob gags, ball gags, cum gags and testicle gags. Imagine this paragraph – willy – repeated for – balls – one hour forty – cock – ad nauseum – dick – and you get some idea how – f**k – tedious this movie is. That’s before we get to the C*** word.

And it’s still not funny.

The moral appears to be that it’s okay to be a schlubby, pompous, angry, loser male who glories in his inadequacies. Then get to do the same on camera playing schlubby, pompous, angry, loser males who glory in their inadequacies for a big fat paycheck.

Don’t watch The Watch. Get Attack the Block instead. RC

The Watch (2012)
Director: Akiva Schaffer
Writer: Seth Rogen
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hr. 41 min.
Genre: Science Fiction & Fantasy, Comedy (allegedly)
Cast: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughan, Jonah Hill, Richard Ayoade

Related: Paul

About Robin Catling

Robin Catling gained degrees in both arts and technology which led to a diverse portfolio of employment. A freelance systems analyst, project manager and business change manager for the likes of American Express, British Airways and IBM, he moved on to web design, journalism and technical authoring. He has also worked in film and television, both behind and in front of the camera, including productions by Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorcese, Ron Howard and Ridley Scott. A qualified three-weapon coach, he runs West Devon Swords teaching sports fencing to all age groups, and in recent years qualified with the British Federation of Historical Swordplay to teach medieval and renaissance combat in the Historical Western Martial Arts.


4 thoughts on “Review: The Watch (2012)

  1. well, thank you very much for sharing the great post!

    Posted by Carlos QM | Jan 14, 2013, 10:05 am
  2. It takes three generations to make a gentleman.

    Posted by G Kossywz | Jan 15, 2013, 9:29 am


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