Culture, Technology

Humour: The Hilarity of Spam

We all know some ridiculous percentage of email is actually unwanted spam that clutters the world’s mailservers. Normally you don’t see most of it, don’t give it a second thought; it’s straight in the junk folder and deleted.

The quarantine server at the current client, however, sends you a list of the junk mail in quarantine, just in case there’s anything mis-diagnosed. Some of the subject lines are unintentionally hilarious…

Aside from the Russian brides (who knew I was such an eligible catch?), most of it is for medications to raise certain unresponsive body parts. Presumably to keep my Russian bride happy.

I quite like the very Victorian-sounding:
“Best goods for upraising vigor!”

I’m not sure our overseas colleagues are necessarily using the best translation services:
“Our male dopings now have better prices!”
“This will never happen with our packs with pilules in your pocket”

Perhaps this one is actually an ad for an Indian restaurant:
“Your intimating will be spicy and intense”

While this one sound positively dangerous:
“Providing her with a high voltage of your desire!”

This appears to circumvent the line of succession to the monarchy:
“Try our supplement you will ascend the throne!”

And finally,  no lack of ambition in this one:
“Make love to all girls near you!”

What, all of them? Is that mandatory or optional? RC

About Robin Catling

Robin Catling gained degrees in both arts and technology which led to a diverse portfolio of employment. A freelance systems analyst, project manager and business change manager for the likes of American Express, British Airways and IBM, he moved on to web design, journalism and technical authoring. He has also worked in film and television, both behind and in front of the camera, including productions by Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorcese, Ron Howard and Ridley Scott. A qualified three-weapon coach, he runs West Devon Swords teaching sports fencing to all age groups, and in recent years qualified with the British Federation of Historical Swordplay to teach medieval and renaissance combat in the Historical Western Martial Arts.


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